This week started out kinda rough, just because I feel like we don't have a lot of work and it really bums me out. Really the week was not bad though, it was great. I am learning a lot, at least about the singles ward. On Wednesday instead of doing splits like we normally do, our ward mission leader tried out a new idea. We all went to "Steak and Shake" and the ward invited less actives and non members to come. We all had a blast, and got 6 people there, which is really good! We sat with 2 returned missionaries and one of their less active friends. It was a blast, but at the same time I had no idea how to react cause they were bouncing off the walls and I can't act like that as a missionary. I need to keep dignity and decorum. I am trying to figure out how I can help this ward the most. I have not figured it out yet. Anyways I have to be the most awkward missionary ever! I am trying to figure out how to react. Like I am around my peers pretty much 24/7 and it is freaking me out! Haha I was so worried about working with adults and older people before my mission and now I realize I should not have been freaked out by them cause they are are not scary, what is scary is my peers! Plus there are tons of RM's and so teaching them is hard cause I get scared I am not doing as good of job as they did haha. I over think way to much in this ward. I have decided Heavenly Father puts you in the situations you can learn the most from and usually those are the situations you are the most uncomfortable! haha I am in the office working with computers..not good at that..and then the singles ward..yep..never even went to one before I came out. It is a blast though, there are lots of fun things always happening. I just have to figure out how to be a missionary with people my age. Oh and we text here on our little flip phone...I suck at texting on those...oh my goodness I had to re learn how to text pretty much...haha
2 weeks ago I was talking to one of my sister training leaders and she told me to pray to know what my potential as a missionary was. I know that I was the best missionary I could have been in Riverton. I tried my best. This week I was really trying to find the answer as to what my potential as a missionary is here in the Rimrock ward. One Friday we went to Colstrip for the day and worked with the the elders in our ward as well as the missionaries in Colstrip, I think we got a lot done too. I finally felt like I was working hard and fulfilling the work in Colstrip. I have been waiting to feel like that since being in Billings. I have not been as talkative and take charge as I was in Riverton, because I don't know where to begin; this area needs so much work. Plus Sister Spencer knows the area a lot better than I do and knows the ward, so I can't seem to connect with them. It is such a bummer. But Friday was awesome, because we were finding people for the first times together, rather than people all knowing her, haha. Well then we went to dinner at Nathan and Liz's house, they are siblings in our ward. We had a great dinner, but as we were leaving we talked to them for a second, and Sister Spencer was down on her self cause she wasn't feeling like the best missionary, and they cheered her up. The told her that she is the best and they love her. When we got out to the car, we all were driving home (us and the elders) and I started to get a little sad because they love her so much, and I feel like I have no way to coming in, because they already have this great relationship, and no one really acknowledges me. I was in that sad pity me spot haha. What did I do, I prayed, and it was not the most spiritual prayer, but I prayed to my Heavenly Father to let me know why I am here, to help me build my relationship with the ward, and to help me find why I am here in the ward.
The next morning, (so Saturday) morning we were in the office and President needed to talk to me about some stuff I am working on for him. So I was in his office, and after we talked about that he told me he needed to talk with me. So we talked about some stuff and I felt so much better, and then the last thing he said was "Sister Draudt, I called you to the office and the Rimrock Singles ward because I know the great things you will do. I lost it right there. I explained I felt like I did not have a purpose the day before and we talked about why I was struggling with the ward. He also addressed another concern I was praying about, which was to figure out how to do missionary work here and not just talk. I have noticed since being here the conversations we have with the ward are pointless and they are not helping the ward and the missionary work. President told me that he knows I am trying to change the area because when a conversation has not relations to the gospel after 3 minutes, I am trying to change it. He told me he knows that I know my purpose as a missionary. He told me I am not here to change my self, but to stay the missionary I am and to lift others. That random spur of the moment interview with president was the answer to all the prayer that I have had for the last couple weeks. I can testify that Heavenly Father answers prayers, and always in his time. I needed that prayer answered by president, and he was out of town till Friday night ,and therefore I had to wait till Saturday for my answer. It was a hard week, but I needed it answered in that exact way. Sister Spencer then had to talk to him, and So I had our office area private for a minute and I knelt down and thanked my Heavenly Father for that answer. I know he answers prayers and I am so thankful for the comfort that comes through praying. I know what my purpose is here. My purpose is that of a missionary to find and teach, but also to help raise this area, to help them realize missionaries are not just friends, but they have a purpose and that we can't sit and talk about sushi for 30 minutes. I really think I need to change the missionary atmosphere here and to also help the ward with that. We do a lot of the activities in the ward, and I am changing that. We can't waste prime proselyting time to sit at institute when none of our less actives or investigators are there. We need to be finding them. I am really excited to be here and help the missionary efforts here. Heavenly Father does answer our prayers.
Story time again. I have always wanted to serve a mission. It was never a direct answer form Heavenly Father saying "Sister Draudt Serve a mission." But rather I just wanted to serve. In the beginning of my mission I was worried about that. Like was I really called here? Or is it something I want. I discovered the answer very quickly in D&C 4 where is says "If ye have desires to serve God, ye are called to the work. "Therefore I know that I was called here, not just a want, because I had this desire, so I was called to the work. I really have had no worries about it since, but the coolest thing happened, I was reading my patriarchal blessing, and I have never thought it talked about missionary work before, but it does! There are like 2 or 3 specific places that I have realized it talks about being a missionary and love it! I love how Heavenly Father gives us so many miracles everyday. I love my mission so much and I love being able to serve my Heavenly Father.
I think about when I got my call to Montana, and I was so bummed out at first. Well I sure regret that. I love this mission. The Montana Billings Mission is definitely for me. I think I will be crying even harder when I have to leave this place. Luckily it's pretty far away; so I don't have to think about that at all right now! haha.
Sorry, that was an interesting email. I love you all so much and I know that we are children of our Father in Heaven who loves us and listens to us. I know that he really brings comfort though prayer. I love this gospel and I know it is true.
Oh ps, I might not be writing till Tuesday next week because we might be changing preparation day to Tuesday because we are going to the temple.. I think... so just fyi..but still write cause I might be writing on Monday
Love Andrea :)