This week
started out kinda rough, just because I feel like we don't have a lot of
work and it really bums me out. Really the week was not bad though, it
was great. I am learning a lot, at least about the singles ward. On Wednesday
instead of doing splits like we normally do, our ward mission leader
tried out a new idea. We all went to "Steak and Shake" and the ward
invited less actives and non members to come. We all had a blast, and
got 6 people there, which is really good! We sat with 2 returned
missionaries and one of their less active friends. It was a blast, but
at the same time I had no idea how to react cause they were bouncing off
the walls and I can't act like that as a missionary. I need to keep
dignity and decorum. I am trying to figure out how I can help this ward
the most. I have not figured it out yet. Anyways I have to be the most
awkward missionary ever! I am trying to figure out how to react. Like I
am around my peers pretty much 24/7 and it is freaking me out! Haha I
was so worried about working with adults and older people before my
mission and now I realize I should not have been freaked out by them
cause they are are not scary, what is scary is my peers! Plus there are
tons of RM's and so teaching them is hard cause I get scared I am not
doing as good of job as they did haha. I over think way to much in this
ward. I have decided Heavenly Father puts you in the situations you can
learn the most from and usually those are the situations you are the
most uncomfortable! haha I am in the office working with computers..not
good at that..and then the singles ward..yep..never even went to one
before I came out. It is a blast though, there are lots of fun things
always happening. I just have to figure out how to be a missionary with
people my age. Oh and we text here on our little flip phone...I suck at
texting on those...oh my goodness I had to re learn how to text pretty
much...haha
2 weeks ago I was talking to one of my sister training leaders
and she told me to pray to know what my potential as a missionary was. I
know that I was the best missionary I could have been in Riverton. I
tried my best. This week I was really trying to find the answer as to
what my potential as a missionary is here in the Rimrock ward. One Friday
we went to Colstrip for the day and worked with the the elders in our
ward as well as the missionaries in Colstrip, I think we got a lot done
too. I finally felt like I was working hard and fulfilling the work in
Colstrip. I have been waiting to feel like that since being in Billings.
I have not been as talkative and take charge as I was in Riverton,
because I don't know where to begin; this area needs so much work.
Plus Sister Spencer knows the area a lot better than I do and knows the
ward, so I can't seem to connect with them. It is such a bummer. But Friday
was awesome, because we were finding people for the first times
together, rather than people all knowing her, haha. Well then we went
to dinner at Nathan and Liz's house, they are siblings in our ward. We
had a great dinner, but as we were leaving we talked to them for a
second, and Sister Spencer was down on her self cause she wasn't feeling
like the best missionary, and they cheered her up. The told her that
she is the best and they love her. When we got out to the car, we all
were driving home (us and the elders) and I started to get a little sad
because they love her so much, and I feel like I have no way to coming
in, because they already have this great relationship, and no one really
acknowledges me. I was in that sad pity me spot haha. What did I do, I
prayed, and it was not the most spiritual prayer, but I prayed to my
Heavenly Father to let me know why I am here, to help me build my
relationship with the ward, and to help me find why I am here in the
ward.
The next morning, (so Saturday)
morning we were in the office and President needed to talk to me about
some stuff I am working on for him. So I was in his office, and after we
talked about that he told me he needed to talk with me. So we talked
about some stuff and I felt so much better, and then the last thing he
said was "Sister Draudt, I called you to the office and the Rimrock
Singles ward because I know the great things you will do. I lost it
right there. I explained I felt like I did not have a purpose the day
before and we talked about why I was struggling with the ward. He also
addressed another concern I was praying about, which was to figure out
how to do missionary work here and not just talk. I have noticed since
being here the conversations we have with the ward are pointless and
they are not helping the ward and the missionary work. President told me
that he knows I am trying to change the area because when a
conversation has not relations to the gospel after 3 minutes, I am
trying to change it. He told me he knows that I know my purpose as a
missionary. He told me I am not here to change my self, but to stay the
missionary I am and to lift others. That random spur of the moment
interview with president was the answer to all the prayer that I have
had for the last couple weeks. I can testify that Heavenly Father
answers prayers, and always in his time. I needed that prayer answered
by president, and he was out of town till Friday night ,and therefore I had to wait till Saturday
for my answer. It was a hard week, but I needed it answered in that
exact way. Sister Spencer then had to talk to him, and So I had our
office area private for a minute and I knelt down and thanked my
Heavenly Father for that answer. I know he answers prayers and I am so
thankful for the comfort that comes through praying. I know what my
purpose is here. My purpose is that of a missionary to find and teach,
but also to help raise this area, to help them realize missionaries are
not just friends, but they have a purpose and that we can't sit and talk
about sushi for 30 minutes. I really think I need to change the
missionary atmosphere here and to also help the ward with that. We do a
lot of the activities in the ward, and I am changing that. We can't
waste prime proselyting time to sit at institute when none of our less
actives or investigators are there. We need to be finding them. I am
really excited to be here and help the missionary efforts here. Heavenly Father does answer our prayers.
Story time again. I have always wanted to serve a mission. It was
never a direct answer form Heavenly Father saying "Sister Draudt Serve a
mission." But rather I just wanted to serve. In the beginning of my
mission I was worried about that. Like was I really called here? Or is
it something I want. I discovered the answer very quickly in D&C 4
where is says "If ye have desires to serve God, ye are called to the
work. "Therefore I know that I was called here, not just a want,
because I had this desire, so I was called to the work. I really have
had no worries about it since, but the coolest thing happened, I was
reading my patriarchal blessing, and I have never thought it talked
about missionary work before, but it does! There are like 2 or 3
specific places that I have realized it talks about being a missionary
and love it! I love how Heavenly Father gives us so many miracles
everyday. I love my mission so much and I love being able to serve my
Heavenly Father.
I think about when I got my call to Montana, and I was so bummed out at first. Well I sure regret that. I love this mission.
The Montana Billings Mission is definitely for me. I think I will be
crying even harder when I have to leave this place. Luckily it's pretty
far away; so I don't have to think about that at all right now! haha.
Sorry, that was an interesting email. I love you all
so much and I know that we are children of our Father in Heaven who
loves us and listens to us. I know that he really brings comfort though
prayer. I love this gospel and I know it is true.
Oh ps, I might not be writing till Tuesday next week because we might be changing preparation day to Tuesday because we are going to the temple.. I think... so just fyi..but still write cause I might be writing on Monday
Love Andrea :)
No comments:
Post a Comment